


Encounter

by Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 01:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13136259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker
Summary: “I am uncertain of how to begin this,” Michael said.  “Perhaps I am mistaken in sitting here.  I had thought to apply human pack-bonding principals to you, and you are, of course, non-human.”“And what would you consider to be human pack-bonding principals, hmmm?”----Michael and Saru's first conversation aboard the Shenzhou.





	Encounter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mechanonymouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechanonymouse/gifts).



Kelpians had a reputation for cowardice among the Federation. Among Kelpians, Saru had a reputation of being brash and dangerous. Even as a child, when his friends were building barriers, and finding safe places to hide away, Saru would find himself staring for hours at the sky, unable to resist the draw of the stars. 

“You’ll die up there,” his mother had predicted on the day he entered Starfleet. Saru had known in an instant that she was right, not only because the Kelpian death sense was often accurate, but because he meant to _live_ up there, exploring new worlds among those who would label him as bold rather than foolhardy. Dying was, of course, a requisite for living. Saru hoped that he would get some time to live before he met his demise. 

(Nobody in Starfleet ever labeled Saru as bold. They laughed at his carefulness and attention to detail. He learned that humans used turns of phrase like “yellow-bellied”, and compared those who shook to leaves, and sneered in the face of perfectly reasonable precautions.)

Captain Philippa Georgiou told Saru that he is brave, because the truest kind of bravery had nothing to do with being unafraid, and everything to do with going forward in the face of terror that made your blood run cold. Georgio was the first and only human to ever inspire him in the same way as the stars that had drawn him to her ship in the first place. Georgio had faith in him. She thought that he was clever, that he might command someday. Saru hoped that he could command under her, to temper some of her wilder schemes as first officer, and prove to himself and others that the ever-present knawing sense of dread in his stomachs had a use after all. 

The day that Michael Burnham first boarded the Shenzhou, Saru’s threat response went through the roof (another interesting turn of phrase which he'd picked up from the humans around him). He ignored it. That was something that he'd been learning how to do. Besides, Burnham intrigued him as well as alarmed him. How could she not? She had coldness of a Vulcan, and an impulsivity that was strictly human. 

Saru wondered what he would be like, had he been raised by another species. Would his instincts be tempered? Would he still be a Kelpian? There was no Kelpian word that equated to what humans called “humanity”. Kelpians had evolved as food for other species, after all. It was only in the past centuries that they had begun to take some pride in their species, to realize that they too had a place in the cosmos. 

At first Saru only meant to watch Michael Burnham from afar, to keep his distance, as was prudent. She did the same to him, he noticed. Kelpians always knew when they were being watched, even if they could not reliably distinguish another species’ curiosity from another species’ hunger, always assuming the later. 

Michael Burnham became Captain Georgiou’s protege from day one, and Saru understood this phenomena. A human trying to get another species to act human would have been insulting. A human trying to get a fellow human to act human was valiant. Captain Georgiou trying to gently guide young Michael Burnham to be, for the first time in her life, what she really was, was nothing short of heroic. 

And then, one day, Michael came to sit besides Saru in the mess hall. According to Saru’s threat response, he was being cornered then and there, by a wolf with the biggest brown eyes and glinting teeth. According to Saru’s mind, which he had been working so hard to develop, this was a chance to learn. 

“Good day,” Saru greeted Michael Burnham with a polite nod and a polite smile, which the newcomer reciprocated, albeit only briefly, before entering in to what seemed to be a staring competition with her dinner plate. 

“Are you quite alright?” Saru asked, realizing he'd never spoken to this woman long enough to know what he version of “alright” constituted. 

“I am uncertain of how to begin this,” Michael said. “Perhaps I am mistaken in sitting here. I had thought to apply human pack-bonding principals to you, and you are, of course, non-human.” 

“And what would you consider to be human pack-bonding principals, hmmm?” 

“I sit here, and then you tell me about yourself, because you enjoy listening to your voice, and wish to be known.” 

“I see,” said Saru. “And what about Vulcan pack-bonding principals?” 

“In accordance with those, I would assess all individuals present, and decide if any of them would be logical and beneficial companions. It strikes me that you might be both.” 

“It strikes me,” said Saru, “that coming here to sit by me might be an emotional decision.” 

Michael Burnham stared at Saru coolly for a moment, and then raised a single eyebrow at him. It was odd to see a facial expression that was so quintessentially Vulcan on the face of a woman who was not a member of their race. Yet, she did not deny Saru’s statement. 

“Explain yourself,” Michael Burnham said instead. 

“You feel that you are not quite human, so you seek out a non-human companion.” 

Michael smiled then— wry, and slight, and undeniably deliberate. “I know myself to be human,” she said. “I've tried not to be, and failed. What are you trying to be?” 

“Fearless,” Saru answered, on impulse. “Free. Wise enough to explore strange new worlds and maybe one day wake up and know without a doubt that I was not mistaken for trying.” 

“Your answer is… attractive,” Michael said slowly, like she was mulling it over. “You must know, of course, that fear is its own kind of logic.” 

“Is it now?” Saru asked. It didn't sound like a very Vulcan thing to say. To Vulcans logic was logic. They'd long outgrown whatever advantage that emotions gave other species. “And are you afraid?” 

Again with that smile, which looked like it may well have been carefully cultivated, perhaps learned from the captain, and practiced in the mirror. 

“Petrified.”


End file.
